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Monday, 22 May 2017 16:16

Xbox Prem Season 13 Predictions

Written by Joe

As always, my preference for a season preview is to gauge the views of the entire league rather than just myself as I think that's a bit boring (See Rivermans article for proof), so I asked the other 13 managers to simply rank the 14 teams in order they think they'd finish at the end of the season. Responses were decent, bearing in mind that it is the Xbox Prem, with 11 full sets received, 1 non response, 1 who declined and Sofa who apparently just can't count.

Once the 11 sets were in, I took an average of the finishing positions and used these as my order.

1 – Tiernobyl

Avg – 2.63

Last Season - 2nd

Veteran Tiernobyl has always had a reputation as one of the better Xbox players and his fellow managers believe he will win himself a league this season. It will be interesting to see whether his tried and tested tactic of playing all games on the last day of the season will be employed, or whether he will remember where the FSL forum is before August. He had a late charge up the table last season and finished just behind Goldenbeard, spurred on by the goals of relative unknown Florin Andone.

2 – Goldenbeard

Avg – 3.45

Last Season – 1st*

Last seasons tainted league winner, relying solely on park the bus tactics, and mired in other nefarious rumours is expected to be challenging for honours again as he's predicted a 2nd place finish. Following a post-season resignation, he was unfortunately tempted back despite knowing he can't possibly defend his title. The big question will be whether he's found the confidence to push more than 3 men into the other teams half. Predictably he's got bored of another striker and following Benedettos 18th consecutive minus MDR has put him on to the market, who will he bring in to replace him?

3 – Joe

Avg – 4.18

Last season - 5th

League hero Joe is predicted to have a 3rd place finish, but will not be happy with that. The attacking triumvirate of Origi, Austin and newly upgraded Valentin Eysseric will score him goals but he will need to improve his defence as the team who conceded the most goals in the league last year. RB Gokhan Gonul has already been brought in and the CB search is underway. He also has a massive penis and once beat Linford Christie in a race.

4 – Shelbourne

Avg – 5.18

Last season - 4th

Tied on a 5.18 average with Crash is Shelbourne, who is definitely the same person as Perrin. A 4th place finish last season was a decent effort after swanning off to the middle east for months on end and he will surely be hoping to do better. No longer saddled with the self enforced IRISH ONLY team he's now relying on OAPs like German Dennis and Vedad Ibisevic to propel him to glory, while the strength of his team is surely Lucas Fabianski in goal.

4 – Crash

Avg – 5.18

Last season - 3rd

Resident American and easily the nicest person on the site, Crash got himself a decent 3rd place finish and is predicted to be around the same place this season. He was flying along in 1st place for a large portion, but it all fell apart when he made some key personnel changes and it will be interesting to see whether the likes of Heaton, Bradley and Afobe are kept around. And of course, will he finally get Wood?

6 – Steveyb(h)oy

Avg – 6.81

Last season – N/A, new to the league

Very little is known about Stevey, but he made his mark early on winning Jakeys post-season competition with the Koreans in pretty easy fashion, despite rumours of connection problems. Not much can be taken from his team as he will surely wheel and deal to put his own stamp on them, but he will surely fancy Cheik Kouyate, and has already shipped out heralded youngster Jean-Kevin Augustin to free up some cash.

7 – Revskic

Avg – 7.00

Last season - 6th

A disappointing showing from Revs last season as early season optimism faded away along with his league position. His big splash of course was the real Donald Embolo and he will be expecting big things of the pacy striker if he is to improve. He's also a big fan of Greggs which makes him alright in my book.

8 – Bumblebee

Avg – 7.54

Last season - 7th

An interesting case Bumble, when I first joined the site he was by far one of the better players in the league but the last couple of seasons have been tumultuous, a relegation was followed by instant promotion, and then a season of struggle. Consistency seems to be the key and surely something that he'll be looking to improve. Key player for me will be Kasper Dolberg, one of the more coveted young strikers around the league and lovely to use on the game.

9 – Shaun C

Avg – 7.63

Last season - 8th

Shauns second season in the prem and his fellow managers expect him to achieve a midtable position, as he did in his first. Definitely one of the more active managers in the market, he has already been hard at working bringing in a new strikeforce with Kevin Volland and Raul Bobadilla.

10 – Sofarukus

Avg – 10.27

Last season – Promoted

FLMs most prominent pedant and gatekeeper of all rules, Sofa bored division 1 to tears last season as he tore it up with his park the bus tactics. Despite tipping himself to finish 1st, his fellow managers see him struggling to avoid relegation and looking at his team it's easy to see why. Devoid of any sort of quality, his best player is Jordi Amat, which is troubling and could see him fail to keep up with the teams with heavy firepower.

11 – Ninjabean

Avg – 10.36

Last season – Promoted

Surprisingly, Ninja got himself promoted again, despite not wanting to be in the Prem for the preceding 4 or 5 seasons! Another wheeler and dealer in the market, it's pointless scouting his team as he will surely have an entirely new first eleven by the time the fixtures come out.

12 – Gypsymuffin

Avg – 10.45

Last season - 9th

Following a 9th place finish last season, Gypsy seems set for midtable, possibly even a relegation scrap with the increased numbers. His love affair with Andy Carroll continues, and he uses the big man to great effect, something for opposition defences to watch out for.

13 – Razakel

Avg – 11.81

Last season – Promoted

Another of the newly promoted teams and also expected to struggle is Razakel, who will be having his first experience in the Prem. Attack will surely be where he tries to improve his team in pre-season, with Kucka being his standout player. Better defences will mean more quality is needed!

14 – Doob

Avg – 12.45

Last season - 10th

An Xbox Prem stalwart, Doob seems expected to struggle this season with a predicted last place finish and relegation on the cards! He will be hoping to pick up points from the promoted teams and keep his head above the parapet. Key man must be David Villa, who will continue to pick up MLS MDRs as the season progresses and scores goals for fun.

Read 539 times Last modified on Saturday, 03 June 2017 18:34