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Wednesday, 26 July 2017 10:24

Xbox Div 1 Title Run In

Written by Mo to the Fo

After a gruelling start to the season which saw Jordan get smashed to pieces after lapping it up and taking all kindsa compliments of being too good for Division 2, we saw him settle for life in Division 1.

However, things did not work out when he soon realised Division 1 players weren’t the type to give out compliments and massage your ego, instead they bend you over and shaft you with the biggest and widest object available; total anal destruction… Woody knows about this as it is his day job, btw he receiveth. The BANTAAAAA in Division 1 has reached a record high, this is thanks to yes you know it Wasay! His awesome banter and countered Woodys sour bitchfest (Woody is getting it proper this article LOL). Along with other notable new appearances in the loving Mo to the Fo, the default champion Jakey Fantastic and Trooper; all adding banters galore.

Berty, the Darkhorse

Berty came up and to the joy of everyone that beat Jordan he wasn’t welcomed with open arms. But he soon made a name for himself by smashing the likely league contenders in “Cry me a Riverman”, Woody, Giiiib. He soon rose to the top and is looking on course to be a Xbox Prem player. Berty is an old timer and he has recently admitted "he would get on an hour earlier for games stated in his FSL’s but his zimmer frame does not allow him to move at that speed". Berty will win this thing barring a heart attack.






Woody not Clubs

In all this Woody has not been happy since he has dominated the draws in the league, but fate smiled generously on him since it could not stand him moan and cry like a little sheep being molested by his Welsh brethren. So obviously Division 1 let him win games and now he sits comfortably near the top matching points to his IQ. But don’t forget he will tell you about the time he was in the prem, don’t you know?! HE IS AMAZING. Disclaimer: Please do not play clubs with this guy.



St George, sorry Giib


Then we move onto Giib, proud ENGLISHMAN and he has tattooed his face with the St Georges flag. He is as English as Red Rhino is bitter, which is 100%. Giib is a former PS4 mink who found the light and came towards it. He has dominated the league up until the mid-point (unlike Woody LOL) but with the arrival of Berty, this rocked Giib’s boat and he has lost balance at the top and tumbled down a couple places. I still believe Giib can get jammy penalties and push back up there. Check him out on his recent trip away to Benidorm






Riverman has been LOL’d at recently due to his Bunerisms. But he has the most attacking team and the best player on the site… Ross Barkley. "I believe Ross is amazing and probably worth £140M easy!" Riverman predictions pre-season were absolute dog s**t, just like this defending. He now will face life without Barkley who went for a bargain price, but he still has some tasty attacking players at his disposal. Unlike Woody you can never write off Riverman.


Make Jakey Great Again?

JAKEY you aren’t so fantastic blad! But you have been up there and a dark horse… some would say darker than Mowgles! LOL I can make the racisms. Jakey has a lovely passing style of the game but he soon resorts to his s**tty cross the ball at every attempt to score. However, he has hit a purple patch and his glitching YouTube crosses serve him no more. But I am sure he will be raging watching this as his sips on the Bacardi and coke and will vow to destroy me and everyone in the leagues. This is what I want Jakey, unleash the beast within and do it. You’re welcome. Oh in case you didn’t realise I did not update so I could give you the title to try and make you great… but you need to do the rest. J Pirlo beard has grown long and he keeps tripping over it, they will need a break and come back stronger than ever. An outside shot and can easily see him sneaking in.





The Rank Outsider?

Another notable mention, Chairfloor, he has had a lovely beginning to the season. In case anyone missed it, he was fined. This resulted in his awesome team; he has probably the best team in the leagues. He will shoot with anyone and he will bloody score! Known for his gentle and calm persuasion, Chair or loving known as Knobhead by his friends and family is probably one of the best players in the division. However, his players do not give him the edge in games for now.






The Also Rans

Trooper had a mid-season breakdown, asking for help from the FLM community regarding his team tactics and player selection. Which is like asking Woody to pass the balls in clubs (ain't never gonna happen). Superceltic has been on more holidays than the queen, I have not seen Vondia online… EVER! MackemJet is back baby, yeehaaaaw . He doesn’t really inspire me to say much about him, maybe because his cousin Ninjabean has given Sunderland minks a bad name with his bad attitude and whiny bitchness . BlondeDan is about somewhere when he isn’t spreading jam on his penis. Payne Wales who seems to always have £50M every week but still can’t buy a win is at this best and poised for relagaytion AGAIN. Scotty, yes Scotty. Not much to say about you Scotty lad apart from yes Scotty!




Right, that is it. A relegaytion one will be done soon enough and I wish these lads the best of luck. There will be tears and we shall lap it up! I would also like to add that Joselu is for sale, I know people have been waiting all year for this, but he has been updated and lost a rating so yeah he can go for £100M. Thanks for reading lads and Woody.

Read 166 times Last modified on Monday, 31 July 2017 09:35