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Wednesday, 02 August 2017 08:13

What About The Players?

Written by Fungusking

Yes, it's that time again (or should I say STAT time again.Yeah? No?... F*ck you, I liked it). This time round we're putting transfers to one side in order to focus on the most important aspect of FLM's glorious leagues, the players themselves. Yep, the heroes and villains that suffer our adulation and abuse... It's time to find out where they come from, what we call them (apart from "useless ballsack") and er, hopefully a couple of other things along the way.

Disclaimer; figures were correct as of 28/07/17. Also, if any particular things were wrong with your squad (e.g. age/nationality etc) it's probably because you're a total arsetard who didn't fill your squad info in correctly. So no whining please.

It seems like 29 is the age to be for a player in these leagues... Let's just hope there's no crisis of confidence in a few months' time when they all start hitting their thirties!
In terms of squad age there's little to surprise, Stench picks up the Jimmy Saville award for probably the 10th year running with an average squad age nearly 3 years younger than his closest competitor. On the other hand, Rinsing's penchant for an experienced head sees him edge out Hammer and Ricky to claim the oldest average squad age.



Is your name David, Jonathan or Christian? Surname of Lopez by any chance? Okay, probably not the latter, how about Williams then? If so, you're as common as muck I'm afraid... The sooner we get Billy Ketkeophomphone in the leagues the better.


There are more CBs in the leagues than any other position, which I guess might explain their relative lack of value in the market. Behind them are STs and CMs. Good luck if you're after a wing back though, they're about as rare as a bump-free CKenny transfer thread. Age wise, wingers are generally the youngest, with CDMs and (obviously) GKs the oldest.

As you can see above, Doob's an absolute pervert for an attacker. Krudler and Bluenose Dave like to stockpile midfielders. While at the back you've got the likes of SteveViper and Zoso paying tribute to Pulis and focusing on defence.

If you ignore that European Super Club "Free Agent", you may be surprised to see two relegated Premier League sides providing the most players to our Leagues. Sunderland and Hull with 15 and 14 respectively.
Variety is the spice of life for SteveViper, no two of his players play for the same club side, 25 different clubs are represented within his squad. At the other end of the scale is Gypsy, his whole squad comes from only 12 different clubs. The manager who has the most players from one single club though, is ScottWales, with no less than 6 QPR players!

Unsurprisingly it's Europe that provides the vast majority of the league's players, South America and Africa come a distant 2nd and 3rd. Country wise, it's England leading the way with almost 200 players. After that is a group of Spain, Italy, France, Germany, Argentina and Brazil, all of which provide somewhere around the 100 mark.

Who loves home more than anyone else? Well, Gypsy wins the Brexit award for having the least "foreigners" in his side. Chairfloor isn't far behind, his 10 English players match Gypsy's 10 Scots, where he falls down is his lack of other Brits (or Irish), with only a lone Welshman helping to make up the numbers.

And that, as they say, is that (or perhaps STA... Fine, I'll leave it). Hope you cretins enjoy, and watch this space, as I'm sure I'll be back to bore you senseless with more stat-based geekery soon enough.

Read 228 times Last modified on Thursday, 03 August 2017 07:09